Browsing Tag

parenting

Mommy’s Christmas List

FAM, self By December 5, 2013 Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

A mom’s life is always busy, but the holidays are even more intense.  Have you ever stopped to think of what you honestly & truly want for Christmas? Presenting Mommy’s Christmas List.

I want..

1. to go to the bathroom alone
2. someone to remove the smushed Cheerios & rotten milk smell from my car
3. to check the lost and found and not find something with my kid’s name on it
4. other people to stop telling me how advanced their kids are
5. to open the fridge and not find empty containers
6. to have a few pieces of clothing my daughter doesn’t borrow
7. a Saturday morning listening to whatever I want instead of Dora and the Wiggles
8. my Mom to stop saying ‘you ate/did/played with it and you turned out fine’
9. my kids to know where they put their library books
10. An ipad with my own apps on it
11. invisible full-body spanx
12. to remember every second of their childhood
13. to have someone other than me put on the new roll of toilet paper

What would you add to mommy’s Christmas list?

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Advice to New Parents from Barbara Coloroso

FAM, grow, health, kids, LIVE By September 17, 2013 Tags: , , , , No Comments

UrbanMommies was given an opportunity to interview and hear advice to new parents from Barbara Coloroso.  An internationally-known author of five parenting books, acclaimed speaker and consultant, we discuss her three tenets of parenting, navigating criticism and following your instincts as a parent.  More of Barbara Coloroso’s wisdom can be found at Kids Are Worth It.

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Why kids need structure

Why Kids Need Structure

FAM, kids By May 18, 2013 Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

My friends were exhausted. And for good reason. They have a 4 year old and a 1 year old, commute to work, and have to walk the dog. But, wait. Haven’t many people gotten through that? Looking at their tired eyes, and seeing them deal with their children, I remembered numerous episodes of Nanny 911. Structure helps everyone. Many a time I saw the nanny implement the ‘families sit down to eat dinner’ rule. ‘Everyone sleeps in their own bed’ soon followed. I always thought this simply provided structure just for the kids, but seeing this struggling family without much structure for children, it all made sense.

The routine provides clear decision making (or limits the need to make decisions) for parents. It eliminates guilt (I decided last year not to give in to tantrums, and this is a tantrum, therefore I shouldn’t feel guilty for not doling out another cookie) and it assists with family unity. Dinner being ready at 6, all sitting around a table facilitates conversation, and also allows duties such as washing up to follow. With bedtime, when parents can never have the same routine twice or depend on sleep for themselves or their children, a cranky family ensues.

Routines give kids a sense of security and help them develop self-discipline.  Children also naturally fear the unknown, and structure will allow them to handle change within a context of the ‘known’.  These little minds and bodies change daily and the familiar acts as a comfort.

The possibility of handing kids to babysitters and having them be put to sleep without a set routine is stressful and often ruins an evening that you are paying quite a bit for. Leave it to a night when you are exhausted for the toddler to decide not to go to bed, or to get up every 30 minutes. If you don’t have a fairly stricy routine for this, the child gets mixed messages. Parents should be able to parent – to make the decisions and be the ‘alphas’ in their family. Children crave this structure, and look for role models.

We have so much clutter in our brains and structure can eliminate all of those extra decisions.  So get out the calendar and a timer and relax!

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Using Movies to Discuss Difficult Family Topics

FAM, kids By February 24, 2013 Tags: , , , , , , , , , No Comments

With the Oscars just around the corner, North Americans are rushing to see the films that critics have been raving about for months. Some families in the Touro University Worldwide (TUW) Marriage & Family Therapy Department reviewed a few of this year’s Oscar Nominees and the family lessons that can be learned from their plots.  Have you ever considered using movies to discuss difficult family topics?

1)     Dealing with Parenting – “Brave” is the favorite for winning best animated film, but it is also a favorite for understanding the conflicts that arise between parents and children. The strong-willed Merida defies her mother as she hopes to change the future her parents have planned for her. Ultimately, both mother and daughter learn that parenting is about compromise, which is a lesson that both children and adults can take to heart.

2)     Dealing with Mental Illness – Mental illness is often a taboo subject; families do not discuss it and prefer avoidance over acceptance. Movies such as “Silver Linings Playbook” have brought the realities of depression and mental illness into the spotlight. Families need to be open about mental illness with their children so that they can understand that it is an illness and it is ok to ask for help. Movies are good starting points for talking about difficult topics, and “Silver Linings Playbook” fits the bill.

3)     Learning about Societal Struggles – “Les Misérables” was revolutionary when Victor Hugo first published the acclaimed novel in 1862, and many of the struggles and lessons learned by its characters are still relevant today.  Talking to your children about poverty and racism can be difficult topics to introduce, and sometimes looking at how far the world has come is a good starting point. Using historical movies like “Les Misérables” can teach your children lessons such as the importance of service to society, intellectual pursuit, and the giving back to the underserved, all principals that TUW is built upon.

4)     Learning about Loss – “Amour” is the favorite for winning the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, but the topics the film focuses on such as elderly relations and loss are not foreign. Talking about loss is a difficult subject to broach at any age, which is why it is important to watch movies that showcase the pain of loss and show family members how individuals deal with this agony.

The Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Touro University Worldwide presents an extraordinary opportunity for interested individuals to become actively involved in an expanding and promising area of study. The need for Marriage and Family Therapists is growing as an integral and important part of our nation’s health and mental health care delivery system. So watch the movies, learn the lessons, and then become part of the TUW community that teaches these lessons every day.

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Top Discipline Mistakes Parents Make

Top Discipline Mistakes Parents Make

grow, LIVE By April 4, 2012 Tags: , , , 1 Comment

If your kids are past infancy, discipline is something you have to do. Basically, as soon as a child becomes ambulatory and starts speaking, they start doing things they shouldn’t do, and it only gets worse as they get older. I swear, my kids have a rare talent for getting into trouble, causing messes and breaking things, and making inappropriate noise (unfortunately, often involving bodily functions). Teaching kids what to do–and NOT to do–is one of the single most important parts of parenting; if your kids end up as rebellious, insolent, and out-of-control, you’re a failure as a mother or father. Sorry. Discipline takes many forms, and there is a lot of passion and polemics when it comes to what is and isn’t good discipline. What are some of the top discipline mistakes parents make?

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Parenting New Years Resolutions

My New Years Parenting Resolutions

grow, LIVE By December 27, 2011 Tags: , No Comments

Sure, more cardio and less wine may top most of our New Year’s Resolution lists, but as parents, it donned on us that we could focus on enriching the growth of our children a bit more efficiently than we do now.  There aren’t enough hours in the day, and we often waste so many minutes.  When you set 5 or 10-minute daily goals, you can be a much more effective parent without tacking hours onto the day.  So don’t worry too much about breaking a sweat at the gym… here are the 2012 UrbanMommies parenting resolutions..

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The Top Movies for Mommies

LIVE, play By November 18, 2010 Tags: No Comments

Needing some Mommy-inspiration?  Grab some fluffy slippers and flop on your sofa.  You don’t even need lipgloss to check out these flicks.  And if you’re interested in getting into a real theatre to see a new release, you needn’t fret.  Many cinemas have implemented programs to enable you to come with the babies and kids.  You might not be able to hear a pin drop, but at least it’s a dark and comfy place to breastfeed!  Be sure to check out Movies for Mommies, Stars and Strollers, and Vids for Kids.

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Parenting Magazines in Canada

Uncategorized By May 15, 2010 Tags: , 3 Comments

Parenting MagazinesOf course, UrbanMommies is the quintessential online Mommy magazine in Canada, but we know that, well, you don’t always have internet (or your spouse sometimes gets peeved with the laptop-in-bed thing).  There are some great parenting magazines / publications out there, and each has something different to offer.  Paper magazines are fun – so we thought we’d share our favourites:

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Working Together as Parents

FAM, kids By August 30, 2006 Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Remember when mom took care of the house and dad went off to work? If you were like me, that was the context in which growing up occurred. My mom was amazing. She baked fresh bread every week and for dinner we always had a homemade dessert. She kept her house clean and her children safe and held her marriage together with patience, persistence, tolerance and love. Dad was amazing too. Every day he would go to work long hours in his construction trade and was home to eat dinner with the family. On weekends he would take us fishing or hiking or we would build things in his workshop.

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