There’s a lot of unhappy going on out there. Buzz words that conjure the worst viral stories and make our hearts drop into the pits of our stomachs. Words that lose all authentic meaning in the moment and become emblems of pure emotion, driving parents to despair. A once normal word like ‘gorilla’ triggers conflicting feelings of anger and hopelessness. Add ‘anti-vax’, ‘forward-facing’, and ‘breastfed‘ to the list and you’re sunk; it’s evolving and eternal. And it’s also true—these things do happen and they’re awful, but reading about them on Facebook every day doesn’t empower us, it drowns us. Sure we’re drawn to the heavy, but shouldn’t we also celebrate the light? 100 happy days was my shift in focus, my commitment to happy—and it can be yours too.
Life is hard – beautiful, sweet, precious, amazing, thrilling even; but so very hard. It never becomes more apparent as to just how hard it is until you are a mother; responsible in every way for the well-being of another tiny human.
Even before becoming mothers, women wear so many different hats. We are cooks, maids, friends, daughters, therapists, employees, managers, etc. We tend to stick together, to find our tribe and to be there for one another through thick and thin. Which is never more important that when we do become parents.
I try not to think about it, this aging business. It’s not easy. You think that the shock, after that first time you are called “Ma’am”, or when you realize the cute guy at the gym isn’t hitting on you (he’s trying to help you because you remind him of his mom) will wear off, and you won’t be quite as sensitive. You think that your skin will get thicker and you won’t notice. But you’re wrong.
So you’re thinking about starting a family. And you’re trying to start a family. And trying. And trying. And you’re at the point where, if one more person tells you to “relax” so “it will just happen”, you might lose your S@#* completely.
You’re thinking about seeing a doctor, or you’ve seen one, or three. The idea of IVF has come up. Or maybe it’s come up for your sister, or your best friend. You have questions, but you have no one to ask. You’re scared it won’t work, you can’t afford it, that it’s going ‘too far’. You hate needles. You’ve begun to wonder if there’s a deeper, cosmic reason you can’t have a baby. There are countless reasons why it’s impossible to even try. And then you suddenly start to feel like you’re just done with it all.
Is life overwhelming sometimes? Ever feel the need for a refuge? Want one small space to call your own? If that sounds like you, sister, you might need a ‘she-shed’, a detached one-room bungalow with the sole purpose of providing comfort, privacy and serenity. Start planning, and before you know it, you’ll be gently closing your door on the rest of the world.
There was a time when Ella sang, “Summertime and the livin’ is easy,” and I believed her. Growing up in the 80’s summer was always about watching movies at the outdoor movie theatre, playing outside late into the night, and of course popsicles, lots and lots of them. And then I became a mom and my priorities shifted. To be honest summer didn’t change for me in the first few years of motherhood. I was working full-time, and if there was vacation, Yay! Otherwise there was always day care! And then I had my second little pumpkin, we moved to Toronto and I decided to work from home. That’s when reality hit me like a ton of bricks: moms hate summer.
Diala’s Kitchen is one of my favourite new food blog obsessions and after getting gluttonous on the (terrible, curse on whoever invented this) “Eat What You Want Day” with a bowl of popcorn to carry me through from breakfast to lunch, an inhaled curry pad thai for dinner, and half a huge bag of dark choc almonds to follow—let’s just say that I woke up this morning hungover, overcome with guilt, and looking to redeem myself.
Diala to the rescue with a dish that’s fresh, healthy, totally yummy, and makes me feel like I might not have to wear a T-shirt over my swimsuit during baby swimming lessons this summer.
When UrbanMommies began almost 12 years ago, I looked at other bloggers and freelancers and became giddy at the thought of the flexibility and freedom my company could provide. Other Moms had given up steady jobs to write books, manufacture baby slings or start companies like mine. There seemed to be a huge shift. All around me, new parents were operating as gig workers, some were creative freelancers and others postponed their careers, pursuing higher education and training instead.
The heat is on. And by that I mean pressure. She’s given you a family. Love. And the perfect gift for your mother in law needs to be perfect – and from you. Not your partner. (Also – sign the card!) Here are a few curated ideas for that marvelous lady. We’ve included a few affiliate links so if you do decide to shop, we can get some credit to support what we do. Be sure to check out all of the other gift guides at the bottom of this post!