Where do I start? I’ve reached my summit and it was way easier than I thought it would be. And like all mountain climbers, I’ve already set a new goal of reaching a higher mountain. This one was high but my spark for competition was lit again, and as I’ve mentioned many times, it’s not all about competing with all the other moms in this challenge but competing with myself. I love challenging myself. My best friend exercises a lot and during the last few years I’ve thought, I have to get back into it too. She inspires me (you know who you are!). Ironically my husband was also editing a popular Canadian television show where families adopt healthier lifestyle choices and go on to lose weight. He would always ask my opinion about segments he’s edited. I would sit there in our home studio with headphones on and watch strangers changing their lives and see how proud they would be in the end and I would think, ‘I need to be like these people!!!’ Well, here I am! I have achieved it. This 8 week challenge is now over but this journey isn’t over for me and will never be, it’s not something I started with an end, it’s a challenge I have adopted and will keep pursuing.
So here we are at the end, and I really feel like I’m just getting started. Truthfully I am, I didn’t meet all my goals but I learnt a lot and gained some great tools to help me make it there eventually and when I do I think I will stay there. I has been a great experience and I enjoyed reading the experiences of the other Mommyfit mom’s. I started this competition with a recipe, It would like to end it with a new one:
Why are we so hard on ourselves? When did weight become so debilitating that it can actually change the way we live our life? Talking to people about the #MommyFit 2011 Competition I have learned that many people who are unhappy with their weight actually avoid social situations as they are uncomfortable in a room of “thinner people!”
So we nearly at the end and I am still struggling. I asked for help, something I’ve never been great at, but Mama-hood has many things to teach me, and I wish I had asked sooner. We simplified the meal plan to something I can handle and share with Tiger Cub, and while I still try to get in a workout here and there, I have a goal of being active with the baby at least once a day. When I started this journey I really didn’t think it would be so difficult or take so long, often it’s felt like walking on sand; sliding back a little each step, so a mile feels like five. I’m glad I did this now, because the support I received was really incredible and made it so that I didn’t give up. Also getting a good grasp on what my challenges are has helped me to find ways to overcome them. I’m by no means done either, it’s probably going to take 16 more weeks to get to where I want to be, but I feel like I have the tools to get me there.
This week I went to a little park near our house with my daughter, we never go there because there is no swing for little ones, only a tire and the slide is big but she’s getting bigger and I thought, why not. There is a little grassy hill and Coco was running down and I was running after her, it was perfect blue sky, the sun was warm and the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. She was laughing so hard as I ran behind her, she loves being chased, I caught her and threw her in the air, she was delighted, nothing beats kids laughter and squeals. I turned around while hugging her and looked up the little hill over her shoulder at the cherry blossoms trees and the park bench, I was suddenly overcome with so much joy and happiness my eyes welled up and I couldn’t control the tears. Last year at this time I was finally recovering from serious postpartum depression.
Okay so this week gets a 5 out 7. I began the week with a lot of determination and renewed intention, I was making the meals, doing the workouts – even some extra. But Friday night I fell apart, got lazy and ate a crappy dinner. Then Saturday I let myself snack on junk food and I had no energy to do anything. It amazes me how little it takes to send my energy plummeting, and yet when I was doing more the exercise and healthy food was giving me energy.
You know the one I’m talking about… the one that doesn’t allow you to buy new clothes when your child is asking for a bike? The one that makes you cancel the babysitter because the baby is teething?
Or how about the one that makes you sleep on the couch when the kids have had a bad dream and there’s no room left in your bed?
Yep, that’s the one. GUILT.
I have been talking about the mountain I am climbing and I think this week I have reached a plateau on that mountain. I have worked out hard with only one day rest, counted every calorie and my measurements and weight haven’t changed very much. I must admit it is a little disappointing and really deep down inside me, I would rather be on a mountain in the Alps skiing hard every single day, eating cheese fondue and drinking French wine. But my always wonderful and supportive husband reminded me that every week is different, that I shouldn’t be disappointed, that I should be proud of myself for working so hard and that my mood, my attitude, my life has changed for the better.
Spent much of this week trying to get back on track. Didn’t help that towards the tiger cub and I caught a bit of a bug. Tough part of being a nursing mama and getting sick, is instead of getting the much needed break, you get less sleep and more stress. Everyday I told myself in the morning that I would start fresh today, and every night by dinner I told myself I’d do better tomorrow. Tonight I wanted to give up, until I thought about what that means, and who I’m giving up on. So I renew my commitment to myself and this program, even after the contest is done I still have work to do, I refuse to give up.
So this week a friend came to stay and I all but abandoned the revolution. Not sure if it was just an excuse to indulge, or that I already felt guilty enough with the restrictions a baby puts on our time I didn’t feel comfortable enough to prioritize my health needs on top of that. In my pre-bebe life I was always so accommodating and flexible, now when I try to be that it always results in my needs not getting met. Despite this I still seem to be slimming down, encouraging to watch the baby belly finally begin to melt away.
– Kirsten Sikora