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lies

Lies I Have Told

LIVE, play By April 24, 2015 Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Lies I Have ToldSome lies I have told I’m proud of and some I  wish I could take back. I’ve never really been the ‘black and white’ person, to the extent where I’d question psychometrists during IQ tests… “But what if the car travelling 50km/hr was using high-octane gas?” “Do I have to count the triangle in 2-D or can I add a dimension?”…

As many readers know, I had to testify at a pretty nasty criminal trial and marvelled at the grey areas between truth and lies. There were always many ‘truths’ in the process – the evidence, the memories and the spin put forth by the lawyers. But all of these are filtered within people’s own experiences and understanding. Even the same word can mean different things to different people. Society was a certain way during the upbringing of the jury, the judge and those of us being cross-examined, and the ‘truth’ of our era is not necessarily going to be the same as it was interpreted in 1950, 1900 or 2050.  So when it comes to ‘lying’, I’ve always seen 50 shades of grey.

As part of the Netflix ‘Stream Team’ I get a sneak peek of up-and-coming shows and this month my focus has been looking at shows that teach children, teens and adults about lying. As you can imagine, this has been tough for me, and has made me think of my moral compass over the past few years. Before I outline the spectacular shows available this month on Netflix, I thought I’d do a little soul-searching..

Lies I am Glad I told

1. The Internet is down so you will have to read a book about sharks instead of watching a shark show on Youtube.
2. We’re out of bread. Want to help mommy make some from scratch?
3. I left a note for the Easter Bunny before we left so he knows our hotel and room number on Easter Sunday.
4. Can you hang this picture honey? My nails are too long to work the drill.
5. I spoke to your teacher and he asked you to do this worksheet tonight.

Lies That Weren’t So Good

1. Instead of ‘I’m sick’ I should have said ‘I need a mental health day.’ It’s ok and I was just furthering the stigma. Sorry Clara Hughes.
2. I pretended that I didn’t realize someone had passed away because I didn’t send a card and donation swiftly.
3. “If you keep eating unhealthy foods and nothing else you will never grow.”
4. “You look amazing in that outfit.” (a close second to:”What a nice haircut.”)
5. I airbrushed a selfie and let judgemental, age-conscious relatives compliment me on how good I looked.

Have you told lies? Need some lessons on truth, lies and consequences? Maybe you just want to be entertained… on to the epic Netflix shows!

For the little ones on Netflix:

Shows for Adults Netflix

Super Why: Season 1 Episode 15
Curious George: Season 1 Episode 19
Clifford The Big Red Dog: Season 1 Episode 26
The Adventures of Chuck & Friends: Season 1 Episode 9

A bit older:

Shows for Tweens Netflix

Monster High
H2O: Just Add Water
Mean Girls
iCarly: Season 1 Episode 12
And the Adults on Netflix:

Shows for toddlers Netflix

 

Bloodline
Just Go With It
Liar, Liar
Pretty Little Liars: Season 1 Episode 12 

So if you have a hankering to chat morals with your little ones, or revisit your own life, you can take in a few of these titles… of you can just stick to House of Cards….

 

 

 

 

 

Jill Amery

Jill Amery is a mom of 2 small boys and the Publisher of UrbanMommies, a stylish digital lifestyle magazine filled with fitness, style, health, recipes and savvy mom advice to help you through pregnancy, birth, and raising your kids.

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When Your Child Lies

Featured, grow, LIVE By May 2, 2013 Tags: , , , No Comments

“Liar, liar, pants on fire!”

Most parents are completely flabbergasted when their offspring tells a fib, no matter what age they are. However, lying is a part of learning and growing and, as the parent, you need to know how to handle the tale-telling appropriately and effectively. It’s essential to differentiate between the lies that should be ignored and the ones that must be addressed and handle lying in an efficient manner with love and understanding, but also help your child recognize the value of the truth.

Little Ones – Storytelling

Young children who fall in the toddler and preschool age category may tell lies that are simply a representation of their creative imaginations running wild. When this happens, you can address the fact that they are not telling the truth by saying, “Wow! You are very creative!” Or challenge them by asking, “Is that really true?” Give your little one the chance to think about their tall tale, tell you more descriptions, and decipher the truth from the un-truth.

Do not be misled, however…children will learn early, usually beyond the age of 3 or 4, that lying might be the solution to avoiding the consequences of their actions and, ultimately, deceiving someone.

Essentially, your little one will lie to please you or get your attention.

Older Children – Avoiding Consequences

Your older child will lie to achieve a different outcome. When it all boils down, your school aged child and teenager will fib to solve some type of problem.

When you know that your older child has told a fib, let them know that you are aware of the truth and that you would prefer that they tell the truth rather than be deceitful. You could tell them, “I’m sure that you meant to do your homework, but you still have some work left to do. We all make mistakes, but in the future, I would prefer that you practice honesty when I ask you a question.”

Parental Lying – The Messages that We Send

Keep in mind that we all tell “little white lies” sometimes and that we need to set the example, as the parents. If our children witness us lying, they will get mixed signals that tell them that lying is okay sometimes.

Without thinking about it, you might tell your friend that you have an appointment that conflicts with meeting them today or – even worse – you might tell your child to tell the caller on the phone that you are in the shower when you honestly do not want to come to the phone.

Before asking your child to lie for you or lying in front of them, think about the significance of the message that it sends to your offspring and ask yourself if it is worth it to relay that message.

When handling a fibbing child, do not promise him that there will not be any punishment if they tell the truth – and then dole out a punishment once the truth is revealed. It is vital to teach your child that lying is not okay, both by holding discussions with them that help them to recognize truth from un-truths and showing them with our own behavior.

Jill Amery

Jill Amery is a mom of 2 small boys and the Publisher of UrbanMommies, a stylish digital lifestyle magazine filled with fitness, style, health, recipes and savvy mom advice to help you through pregnancy, birth, and raising your kids.

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