So it’s National Lipstick Day, which really just means that some of the style magazines I follow on Facebook are posting pics of beautiful models with gorgeous lips done up in the decadent shades of the summer. When suddenly I realized that I haven’t worn lipstick for a really, really long time. And here’s why…

Lipstick doesn’t go with baby barf

I figure, if I don’t have time to wash chunks of baby food out of my hair, and if, let’s be honest, I haven’t even noticed that there’s a poo smudge on my forearm, I probably don’t have the wherewithal to apply lipstick on my mouth to look more beautiful.

Babies look weird with lipstick smudges

No (mama steering your baby away from us), my child doesn’t have some strange disease. He just got a little too close to my face, okay? He’s delicious, can’t you see? How can I not kiss him everywhere forgetting that I decided to wear lipstick today…

I’m actually trying to look less mature

When you’re 20-something (or 40 and get to sleep on a semi-regular basis), your Chanel vamp nails and lip make you look like a very grown up sophisticated goddess, preparing to go out to a cool club or to a chic office job. On the other hand, when you feel like your own grandpa, the best you can ever hope for is messy beach-waves and fresh-faced.

Lips on target

Aside from the prospect of getting it on the baby, wearing lipstick means it’s a sure thing that your child will want to get very involved with your face. Even without it I’m pre-registered for daily lessons to help everyone determine “where is mamas mouth”, but when I’m lighting it up like a sign, I imagine my face will become an even bigger target for all manner of balls, train tracks, hardcover books, and the disgusting snacks that mommy prepared, but no baby should ever have to eat.

I’ve worked hard to perfect the “Je ne care pas” look

Since becoming a mom, I’ve sort of slipped in my aesthetic maintenance standards. I used to work in fashion and grew up with a father who’d wear a suit to get gas, so I’ve always tried to go the extra mile in the ‘put-together’ department. These days, however, wearing matching footwear and trying to make sure my buttons are done up is the ultimate goal. My style would best be described as ‘laissez faire to the max’ and nude lips are the central foundation for that philosophy.

“So, what’s my point? Well, I guess there are two points really. The first is that I suggest moms use this National Lipstick Day to celebrate our mouths in whichever way we want—be that a beautiful blood red kisser (consequences be damned) or a cherry cola Lip Smacker. The second point is that (for me), wearing lipstick is a symbol of the old regime—a life I once embraced and threw myself into all day at the office and all night at the hottest media event of the week. In its place, my bare (sometimes chapstick-ed) mouth is an emblem of my new life as a mom. It’s a life that I vehemently denied would be mine pre-baby, and one that I actually sort of love these days. A life where my mouth spends real time being fed shared spaghetti by gooey little hands, is occasionally whacked by a rogue toy airplane, and—most importantly—seeks out and receives tonnes of kisses on delicious baby thighs, soft little feet, and from tiny wet lips.