Celebrities don’t usually affect me. I’m not one for autographs, oohs or aaahs. Maybe it’s because I was an actor at one point, and relate to people as ‘people’, without the cloak of fame. But Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston have always been slightly mystical to me – which makes my fascination with them more vivid in its abnormality.

Today, ‘Brangelina’ announced their divorce. Six children, a high-profile conscious coupling during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith, a cute double-barrelled name and a wedding dress adorned with their children’s art. From the outside it looked so loving – charity work, lots of parent time for the kids, and houses in France and New Orleans – two of my favourite places.

If any of us can make a marriage work it seemed that they could. But no. I didn’t think that I peg my own relationship to any celebrity marriage, but of all of the Hollywood breakups, this one gives me pause. They looked so fulfilled. They seemed to communicate so well. And six kids.

Marriages, like people, go through stages, and I was recently introduced to the writing of Glennon Doyle Melton. Someone paraphrased Melton’s thoughts for me – that some loves are meant to fade and some to evolve, but love is love.

Love is love. And once you have experienced it, nobody can take that away.

It seems to me that the whole ’til death do us part’ thing is a bit antiquated. While I personally want to try and be married for the long term, I do cherish the notion that I have loved. This is the triumph. It’s deeper and different now than it was. Maybe the real goal is to be together for the duration of your love. As I attempt to live in the moment, I must cherish my relationship as exactly how it is – not how it will be in 5 or 10 years, or how it was during our first kiss.

That realization must be part of living in the moment and embracing where I am in the here and now.

So while my initial reaction to the ‘whole divorce by people I have never met and shouldn’t delve into’ was shock and horror, I think I have learned a lesson to which I needed to give attention. ‘Brangelina’ exuded love, maturity, and happiness, and that is what attracted me to the spectacle of their relationship. (Along with kick-ass hair, great acting roles and charity partnerships I greatly admire.) Whatever is said in the aftermath and inevitable trainwreck that ensues, none of us can take away what they intimately felt towards one another in the moment. Whether their love shifted, matured or ended isn’t really anyone’s business. But that there was love once is something to cherish. We should all honour our ability to join hearts with another, and not let change taint the beauty of our experience.

Whatever is said in the aftermath and inevitable trainwreck that ensues, none of us can take away what they intimately felt towards one another in the moment. Whether their love shifted, matured or ended isn’t really anyone’s business. But that there was love once is something to cherish. We should all honour our ability to join hearts with another, and not let change taint the beauty of our experience.

All of those exes and breakups in my own life seem way more positive now.

Jill Amery

Jill Amery is a mom of 2 small boys and the Publisher of UrbanMommies, a stylish digital lifestyle magazine filled with fitness, style, health, recipes and savvy mom advice to help you through pregnancy, birth, and raising your kids.

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