Whenever they venture out into the world for a walk or to shop for groceries, mothers of multiples can anticipate questions from well-meaning strangers. In most cases, people just want to say hi and get a glimpse of your precious bundles of joy. Having twins is a crash course in how to deal with questions that are too personal.
Sometimes the line is crossed when otherwise kind people start asking you questions of a very personal nature. General questions are one thing, but sometimes these questions show a lack of respect and discretion, particularly when other people are within hearing distance.
Some mums wouldn’t be offended, but certainly others would be if asked if your babies were planned, if you had a C-section, how quickly your babies were delivered, or, particularly painful for some, whether your babies were ‘naturally’ conceived. Your children will not appreciate these types of questions either, when they are old enough to understand what is being asked.
Just because you have twins is not an open invitation for invasive questions. People should not let curiosity overcome good judgment. It isn’t any of their business whether they are your children, or if you are considering more babies. Learning how to deal with questions that are too personal can make these kinds of interactions less awkward.
You are completely within your right to feel that your boundaries have been invaded. If you want to get out of the house but don’t want to feel like a side show, consider a quiet park or keep your eyes averted when you see the warning signs with people approaching – or try turning the tables and ask them something equally nosy – how would they feel if asked whether or not they were breastfeeding or what form of birth control they practice?! If that’s not your style, try a simple, “Why do you ask?” to evade the invasive question. If the stranger persists, tell them it is none of their business and walk away.
Otherwise insulting are remarks from people you do not know who feel the need to comment on the comfort or care of your babies. Perhaps, in their opinion, your babies seem hungry or tired, your babies are too cold, or too hot, or too exposed to the sun. Just keep going ladies, and know you are doing your absolute best by your babies and it’s none of their business. You know that you have several layers of clothing on the babies and they are fine, or that you applied sunscreen to their skin five seconds ago – no need to explain yourself to anyone but you. Put a bug net on your stroller and get on with your day! That’s what you get to do when you know how to deal with questions that are too personal.