Renewing Yourself as a Mother
Q – I feel lost. Before our kids were born I was a vibrant, outgoing, social person and spent much of my free time at art galleries, theatre and dance performances, and taking art courses. Here I am 3 years later with a toddler and another baby on the way and I’m not sure who I am anymore. I love being a mother but I know there is more to me, and I don’t know how to bring that part of me back to life and still be a good mother.
A – A child is born, a mother is born. As we grow into motherhood there is much learning and discovery, but also loss. Often we set aside aspects of our life that were previously central to our well-being in order to care for our children. Some of these activities we discover are no longer important to us,while others may just seem too complicated to make happen. The daily routine and responsibilities of family life are significant, and it can be difficult to make the space to nurture your whole self. Part of being a good mother is being a whole person, and it sounds as though being involved in the arts world is a vital part of who you are. With another baby on the way perhaps this would be a good time to enroll in an art course. Consider scheduling on night each month to go to either a gallery or a performance, and invite a different friend each time. By reconnecting with the activities that once nourished you, you will discover new energy and commitment to yourself and your family.
Sarah Juliusson offers advice and support to mothers.
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This is me exactly. I have a 2 year old and 10 month old. Everything that used to be important to me before I had kids has been set aside. I know in the future I will be able to add each activity back but for now I try to pick at least one night a week where that activity is my priority. The only time I have to myself is after the kids are in bed so I decide on the special night that the bathrooms or the laundry or the messy toys can wait one more day and I focus on me. Or, once every month or two I plan something with my girlfriends and I schedule it like an appointment that I can’t miss.
Comment by Coral — December 11, 2009 @ 8:37 pm
[...] more inspiration, see our Mothering Expert’s posts on renewing yourself as a mother, and balance. – Jill Amery is learning about parenting every [...]
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