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Jorrie Varney

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mom of two, who aspires to own furniture without stains and shower without an audience. She writes about the joy and hilarity of raising children, on her blog Close to Classy. You can also find her work on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and Mamalode. Follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram.

zika virus

Mom In-The-Know | Protecting Your Kids From Zika

FAM, health By August 26, 2016 No Comments

Nature has thrown moms another curve-ball. Despite the fact that the Zika Virus has been around for 60 years, surprisingly little is known about the mosquito-born illness, but—with the recent connection between this virus and devastating birth defects—the information we do have is alarming, to say the least.

In order to better protect yourself and your family from this virus, it’s important to understand the risks. So here are the facts to put Zika on your radar—and the tips to keep it out of your home.

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mom of two, who aspires to own furniture without stains and shower without an audience. She writes about the joy and hilarity of raising children, on her blog Close to Classy. You can also find her work on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and Mamalode. Follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram.

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life before kids

Life Before Kids — ‘That Time I Puked in My Coach Handbag’

FAM, self By August 5, 2016 No Comments

Looking back, it’s clear that motherhood has tamed me.

Not that I was jumping out of airplanes, or burning my bra in the good old days—but I certainly wasn’t the Pinterest-loving, laundry maiden that I am now, either. Life before kids was something entirely other.

As a dedicated mother of two, my days consist of order, routine and responsibility. I bend to the will of my children, and my entire existence is spent keeping them safe, happy and healthy. But, there was a time—before the days of yoga pants and early bedtimes—that I wasn’t quite so organized and responsible.

Before mom-hood, I was a small town girl who liked beer and football on Friday nights— fancy wasn’t really my thing. I worked in a small salon and threw darts with my friends on Sundays. We preferred hole-in-the-wall bars with mismatched carpet; I’d take denim over lace any day of the week.

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mom of two, who aspires to own furniture without stains and shower without an audience. She writes about the joy and hilarity of raising children, on her blog Close to Classy. You can also find her work on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and Mamalode. Follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram.

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toddler tantrums

Welcome to Toddler Hell, Population: You.

baby, FAM, Featured, grow, kids, LIVE By June 22, 2016 No Comments

The change in my son’s behaviour was so gradual I almost didn’t realize what was happening. At first, I wrote it off as a bad day. I explained his emotional meltdowns as tiredness or hunger—I know how a guy can get when he needs a taco.

One bad day turned to two, and two turned into a week. Before I knew it we were living a new normal. An emotionally unhinged, can-other-kids-possibly-be-like-this normal.

So here I am today, writing from Toddler Hell, where the red cup is never blue enough and shoes are evil feet-demons.

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mom of two, who aspires to own furniture without stains and shower without an audience. She writes about the joy and hilarity of raising children, on her blog Close to Classy. You can also find her work on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and Mamalode. Follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram.

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Get Fit Momnastics

Mastering Momnastics: Ditch the Gym and Get Fit

FAM, fitness, laugh, self, Uncategorized By May 27, 2016 2 Comments

Some time in my twenties my metabolism abandoned me. My nightly bowl of ice cream started clinging to my hips and it only got worse after having a few kids. It became obvious that my fitness regimen was failing—largely, because I didn’t have a fitness regimen. I knew that if I wanted to keep my waistline in check, I would need to get fit quick or stop eating so many cupcakes. And let’s be real—I wasn’t giving up cupcakes.

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mom of two, who aspires to own furniture without stains and shower without an audience. She writes about the joy and hilarity of raising children, on her blog Close to Classy. You can also find her work on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and Mamalode. Follow her on Facebook,Twitter and Instagram.

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